he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
