So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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