You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
