there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize