Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
