Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize