went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
