Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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