This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
