omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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