Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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