so that wasnt chicken after all
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
