I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
