You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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