also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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