im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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