I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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