Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
