I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
