I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
