Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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