I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
