i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
