do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Terrible idea I love it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
