you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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