Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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