So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
