oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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