I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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