You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
