At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
