Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
