i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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