Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
