What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
