whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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