She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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