Sponge bath it is.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize