i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
