well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
