i think my mom watched the whole time
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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