i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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