I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i now understand why vodka
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize