Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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