too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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