the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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