Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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