Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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