Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
