I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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