**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
