There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize