Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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