Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
organizing the empties. That sober.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
