do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize