make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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