You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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