Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
