you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
