I'm really into asian looking animals
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
