you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
