I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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