What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
