That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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